Relationships: How does love work?

Relationships: How does love work?

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Fell in love

Although it takes only a fraction of a second for our brain to “fall in love” (since it is what it takes to release neurotransmitters such as oxytocin, dopamine, adrenaline, vasopressin… and activate the parts of the brain involved), creating and maintaining a relationship requires Some more time and effort.

It is clear that the first impression It counts a lot, since our brain takes very little time to assess whether a person interests us or not (although this evaluation may not be correct and changes over time), but not only will the relationship be based on them.


  • 1 The importance of kisses
  • 2 Distance relations and communication
  • 3 Marriage and personal development

The importance of kisses

The KissesApart from being an emotional and sexual component, they help us to make a decision regarding the person and if we are “interested as a couple”, this is reflected in different studies, especially in the case of women. In addition, kisses not only serve us for this, but that, throughout the relationship, they have a function of maintenance, since according to studies, there is a clear relationship between the number of kisses that couples give over time and the quality of these relationships, in a very positive way.

Distance relations and communication

This can be a problem, for example, for distance relationships, but that does not mean that they have no future, but that they have to generate different mechanisms to achieve a good relationship. For example, in these cases it has been seen that distance relationships that work correctly are the ones that both trust more personal and intimate information and improve communicationIn the same way, since you don't have “daily friction” you have a more idealized view of the other person.

Usually people tend to be more or less aware of what they may be doing right and wrong in the relationship, although for this it is necessary to stop to think about it and evaluate the situation. Mainly some problems that appear in the problematic relationships have been detected, first of all, the repetitive criticisms, when there is a difference of opinions, we have to try to put a solution on both sides, not only to be reflecting and complaining about the problems, since That does not help improve the relationship in any way. Another aspect that worsens is the communication, in which expressions of contempt arise among which we can include sarcasm. This makes it difficult for people to feel valued within the relationship and therefore both give their best for the benefit of the couple. That one of the members is defensive and closed, does not help the relationship to go well, because if I do not express myself, or interpret things negatively, it is very difficult for the relationship to go positively.

Marriage and personal development

It has been seen that it is very important, especially today, that current marriages do not only seek security and strength, but also seek a Personal development, so both people need to work in marriage or partner to be happy. Although at first glance it may seem complicated, it really isn't that much. How we have commented the members of the couple are usually right with some of the things that are failing and therefore, it is a matter of knowing how to solve it. One of the main ways of seeing what is failing is something as simple as thinking What did we do before we no longer do?, this will give you answers like: I would bring breakfast to bed from time to time, I would give an unexpected gift, we would tell each other things every day, we would do certain things together ... If recover old healthy habits that we had already abandoned, we added a restructuring of our situation, since we have to be aware that love goes through different phases and that the relationship evolves, but that we do not feel like “newly in love” does not mean that something goes wrong. With all this, what we try to convey is that relationships are not something that arise without more, if not that we must dedicate an effort to be beneficial and positive, and if we do, the benefits will be much greater than the effort we have invested.

Ivan Claver
Mariva Psicólogos- //