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Well at least in the relations of "friends with rights", "friends with the right to rub" or "friend": No!
It is not worth falling in love! And, that is a rule that we need to have very clear.
One more aspect is that they are unique and unrepeatable relationships, what works with one partner does not work with another. And, that fills relationships with a certain degree of complexity.
From the beginning, not all relationships are made to seek stability, commitment and transcend through children.
The rules of coexistence are as unique as the uniqueness of each couple. However, they have several points of coincidence: Be friends and enjoy sex basically.
It is considered convenient, not to involve feelings, respect friendship and not have a future as a partner in the medium or long term.
- 1 Friends, boyfriends or friends?
- 2 Types of friends
- 3 The singularity in the dynamics of coexistence of the friends
- 4 Advantages
- 5 Disadvantages
- 6 Is there a future as a couple in the relationship of friends?
Friends, boyfriends or friends?
According to the APA dictionary (2010), friendship is a voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively durable and in which those involved tend to show interest in meeting the needs and interests of others, as well as their own. wishes.
Being a boyfriend corresponds to a role within the stages of what is known as “couple's life” and this dating. It is aimed at covering a cycle to settle later in the company of someone else.
López (2000) defines courtship as: the first stage that begins with the meeting and the first contacts between a man and a woman who have something in common, such as studying the same career, working in the same company or sharing a group of friends . What follows is that an increasing degree of physical and emotional attraction arises among them, until reaching the state in which the presence of the other becomes an imperative need that powerfully drives them towards each other, with the feeling that this other person is the only one who can satisfy everything, which has all the qualities and no defects (or those that exist will be easy to correct) and with which you want to stay a lifetime.
Well then the concept of "friend" combines friendship or voluntary relationship and physical attraction. The limit of being friends is passed to satisfy sexual desires, needs and interests, but without it becoming the first of the stages of the relationship tending to formalize, live together or get married, stay together for a lifetime and in many of the cases procreate offspring.
In this modality, a couple is not exactly sought to procreate, but to accompany and / or have fun only for a relatively short time and without commitment to formalize. Thus we have as a result: a mixture of friends and boyfriends.
Where you can trust the other person, as in friendship relationships, but leaving the door open for someone else to enter love, or even knowing that someone can already have a commitment to a formal partner, this It is overlooked. So, the commitment to someone else may be present on both sides and yet that proves a relationship of friends.
Friend with benefits, term accepted in the latest edition of the dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy, defines a relationship of lesser commitment than a courtship (Soteras, 2016).
Types of friends
In this type of couples there is attraction and a commitment oriented only to friendship, but with the same characteristics of what sexual behavior implies as the one with a formal partner, without the sexual partner actually being the formal partner.
The categories can be very diverse:
- Friends-boyfriends once or a couple of times. They were able to meet at school, in a bar or wherever and end up having a fleeting relationship.
- The friends-boyfriends that they know each other for years, but one day they decided to move from friendship to sexual intercourse.
- The friends-boyfriends where one of the two or both has a formal engagement relationship with someone else, but they allow themselves to have this freedom.
- The friends-boyfriends, husbands or ex husbands, that they live apart, that they only get along at times and in the sexual, and that is the only thing that unites them. Well the children, a little.
- The friends-boyfriends who live everyone in your house, they go on vacation they live even in social events, but they will never formalize because they are better that way. They are eternal boyfriends, but sometimes they give their permission to be with someone else without the other knowing.
- Friends-boyfriends, social media product, specialized or not to get a partner, where you can speed up the meeting. Above all, if it is a question of places to look for "friendship" or "couple. As they are: Tinder, Meetic, Badoo, Happn, Muapp, Adoptauntio, Bumble, Jaha, Teasr; Gropyfy, Grindr, Wapa, Desire, Couple, 3nder, MiuMeet, OkCupid, Ashley Madison, eHarmony and Good2Go among others.
- Friends-boyfriends on-line, they are probably never physically together, but they took friendship and sex just by the computer.
It is important to clarify, that it is not about sexual harassment relationships, but in agreement where both coincide and at any moment you can stop coinciding.
Where feelings and claims are not involved, and sexual relations are simply a point of mutual pleasure.
The singularity in the dynamics of coexistence of the friends
Sometimes their encounters match only the weekend, or sometimes only each time they travel or only when they coincide between weekdays or any particular day.
The treatment can be cordial, attentive, sexual and loving where only the commitment to remain friends remains.
The main element is physical attraction that can be between both. However, each one has a clear idea that they will not be together in more projects, only in sexual matters.
A relationship where the roles of friends and boyfriends are mixedFor some it is very practical and fun. We go out, have fun and have sex, but without commitment!
Given, what in many cases, they begin to experience since adolescence can stay for life, Despite having a formal relationship, it is what many people know and seem familiar.
Sometimes love emotions are blocked and affection in order to neutralize the commitment, but in others, although they manifest themselves in an open way, they don't want to or is simply an impossible love and that makes them paradoxically maintain the relationship.
Many of the characteristics of how you start a relationship of friends, is the prognosis of your future or even the quality of the relationship.
It is not the same when people have known each other for a long time and friendship has been maintained, when they meet casually at a party or at another event where a meeting can be encouraged and they will hardly match again.
Sexual freedom, technology, birth control techniques and coexistence strategies make these types of couples more common than they appear.
But we have to consider that a certain temporal link is usually established, taking into account that it is very fragile and can end with the disappearance of one of the members as it happens in ghosting. Walking away without giving any explanation!
In the profile of the friends, it is not exclusive to young people, they can be single or married. Today, it is a more common practice than you think.
Like all relationships, they have their advantages and disadvantages ...
- If you do not like to formalize a relationship, you are on the most appropriate path to have an email protected
- There are no pressures additional.
- You do not have to take care of yourself on social networks that you are committing an infidelity because it is an open relationship.
- You can be more open in asking things to your email protected with rights, things that you do not dare to ask your partner and you can do it with more confidence with this person.
- You have the freedom to try things, which you do not dare to try with your formal partner.
- You do not have to explain your actYes, unless you want to tell what you did? and where did you go?
- Without being intrusive, you can call or find him and know that you will not generate a difficulty, nor will they generate it.
- You don't have a schedule to cover, nor can they require you to go anywhere with them.
- You can take advantage of the time you have, not the one you would both like to have.
- You will have a lot of fun while the relationship lasts.
- You will remain email protected and unofficially you will have a partner.
- You have less chance of getting bored as it happens in the formal relations that kills domesticity (all the daily tasks of the house) and the lack of erotic intelligence.
- As sometimes they do not spend much time together, differences and conflicts are minimized and focus more on enjoying the positive side of the meeting.
- Once you cross the line of friendship to physical contact, The deal will hardly be the same.
- They usually have a short term duration and not necessarily both are prepared for the end or detachment, whatever it is.
- It might change your interest in maintaining such a relationship, or you didn't like it after trying.
- If things go wrong, you can throw a wonderful friendship overboard and end up having no contact and talk to the other person.
- Despite the agreements, you might end up emotionally involved and hurt if you're not in your friend's plans.
- It makes it impossible for you to meet more people, because if they find out about your open relationship, they probably won't be interested in getting anything serious with you
- You can run the risk of falling in love, just for the initial pattern of intimate and tell their secrets.
- Sometimes you cannot take your protected email to places where they can see you or you can create social discomfort (family, coworkers or friends).
- It is not made for conservative minds.
- You need to be aware that You will not have love, only pleasure.
- If you get emotionally involved, although the other does not know, the relationship is colored by: jealousy, insecurity and distrust for infidelity.
Is there a future as a couple in the relationship of friends?
The permanence of the relationship will be based on the effort made by both members of the couple to provide attention despite the modality of living together.
A relationship like these can go to the level of commitment, only if the life plans of either of them change and then one of them can decide to settle with someone else to create a life project as a couple.
They are relationships that generally have no future and very few make exception
A curiosity to finish
Since 2012, July 19 has celebrated the world day of friends with rights, was initially promoted as part of an advertising campaign for a sex shop and then was adopted by users of social networks, not only in Mexico but in much of the world (Ávila, 2018).
APA (2010) Concise Dictionary of Psychology, Editorial Manual Moderno, México.
Ávila G. (2018) July 19: Do you have a right friend? accessed November 12, 2018, online: //www.primicias24.com/tal-dia-como-hoy/19-de-julio-tienes-un-amigo-con-derecho-hoy-es-dia-de - celebrate it /
López A. (2000) Stages of couple development, Editorial Instituto de Estudios de la Pareja, S. C., Mexico.
Soteras A. (2016) Amigovios and online relations, the new couples of the 21st century, accessed on November 13, 2018, online: //www.efesalud.com/amigovios-y-relaciones-online-las-nuevas-parejas -xxi-century /Related tests
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